Safe Sex For Leathermen
by Luke Owens
Who says that kinky sex and safe sex are mutually exclusive? I don't and neither does my roommate, Bud, who has published articles on kinky safe sex in both Drummer and Manscape 2. This article, expressly intended for BBS's, is partially based on Bud's articles.
For those of us who haven't put our libidos up in curlers, let's take it from the top.
HIV testing: This is NOT a reliable test for determining whether or not to have safe sex. Just because you and your partner tested negative is no indication that you don't have AIDS; it just means that you didn't have the antibody AT THE TIME OF THE TEST! That means that you could still come up positive later. Don't take the chance; practice safe sex even if you've had a negative result.
French kissing: You'll have to decide this one for yourselves, men. The virus has been found in minute quantities in spit and tears, but no one knows if it can survive being exposed to the digestive juices in your mouth and the acid in you stomach. But don't do it if you have any open sores, cuts, new dental work, etc., in the skin in or around your mouth. You might want to consider limiting this type of action to your lover or fuck-buddy, but that's up to you.
Armpits: For those of us into pits, I say "Go for it!" Sweat is not, as far as we know, a significant factor in the transmission of AIDS. Be careful, though, we don't know if large amounts of sweat are significant (the example that Bud used in one of his articles was giving a body-builder a head-to-toe tongue-bath after a two-hour workout -- jack-off time!). Besides, salt raises your blood pressure and does other not-nice things to your body. Large amounts of sweat in my context does not include licking, chewing and sucking a single pair of pits in a scene. It's great (from both sides)! But for God's sake, if you're going to get into this type of action, don't use deodorants or anti-perspirants! Licking pits covered with that shit is like sucking a stypic pencil (DEFINITELY not recommended, even for loose love tunnels!)
Tits: Lick, suck, chew, whatever, but DON'T BREAK THE SKIN!!! Blood is where the virus is carried, so don't take that chance. Clothespins, clamps, etc., are still okay, too (I still use 'em with great enjoyment)! Go for it!!
Balls: More licking and nuzzling and small nips here, but again, don't break the skin! Anything else goes!.
Cocksucking: Resign yourself to not drinking cum. Sorry, men, but exchanges of bodily fluids are the main method of transfer for the AIDS virus, so DON'T DO IT!!! When we have a vaccine and/or a cure, THEN do whatever you want, but until then, forget it! Do it with a rubber. Early withdrawal doesn't work because of pre-cum, which can carry the virus just as easily as the full load. If you don't like the taste of rubber, get used to it. You can develop the taste, after all you developed the taste for sucking cock, remember? The only other alternatives are masturbating your partner or frottage (body rubbing). Be sure to use lots of lubricant in either case, unless your partner LIKES being rubbed raw (or if he's tied down and has no choice).
Shaving: This is perfectly safe if, and that's a big IF, it is done long enough beforehand for the tiny nicks and cuts to heal. Yes, no matter what kind of razor you use, there WILL be nicks and cuts that are too small to see with the naked eye. So give your bottom man/slave a while for them to heal up, or you're playing with his life! As for Nair and other depilatory creams/lotions, they are not good for this type of scene unless you WANT your bottom/slave to be in a LOT of pain! Same goes for depilatory wax with the added caveat that the skin can tear too easily for safe sex.
Lubricant: I personally don't like the water-soluble kinds, even though they have noxynol-9, which possibly kills the virus, but they ARE the safest. For those into Crisco, you need to portion out enough Crisco for a scene from the can into another container. Use that and ONLY that container. If you are using one of the new lubricants, buy several containers and use only one per scene, or get a large container with a pump and wash it afterwards, just to be sure. The idea is not to contaminate the lubricant either.
Boot-licking: Don't worry about it from the standpoint of AIDS; but be aware that there could be something lingering on them, depending on where you've been walking. But it's too much fun to give up, either as Top or as bottom.
Dildos: If you absolutely HAVE to have something up your asshole and want to use dildos or other toys, DO NOT SHARE THEM!!! Everybody can afford his own and should have one (at LEAST) if he wants to get into this scene. All ass toys must be sterilized after each use (preferably with Betadyne or bleach) and tossed when the surface starts to get pitted.
Another point about ass toys: Insertion MUST be GENTLE! There is enough bacteria in the colon that is looking for a new home already, even without the AIDS virus. Remember that the lining of the ass is about the consistency of wet tissue paper and not much stronger, so it won't take very much to rip it open, causing peritonitis. Once the guy taking the dildo or whatever is loosened up, you can be as ungentle as is safe, but be careful about fancy moves!
Rimming: Forget it! That's one of the quickest ways to spread the virus into your mouth! No matter WHAT you want to do right now, you probably don't want to die from a momentary pleasure, so DON'T DO IT!!!
Fucking: After everything I've said about ass-play so far, I shouldn't have to tell you that this is off limits unless you're wearing a rubber. The problem is that most rubbers are NOT made with buggery in mind. Most of them simply cannot stand up to heavy thrusting or changing positions in mid-fuck or whatever. If you lubricate your cock BEFORE putting on the rubber, you'll reduce the chance of the rubber breaking, but even then, be careful what moves you make. Don't use the lubricant you've already dipped your hand into and inserted in his ass (this should not be done if there's ANY possibility of open cuts, especially in and around the nails!) because that has been contaminated! You might want to have your bottom/slave put the rubber on you as a part of the scene's turn-on ...
Don't try to tell me that you're too small to fit into a rubber or too big, for that matter! They are one-size-fits-all and I haven't seen one yet that couldn't be covered by one. If you are genuinely allergic to rubber, though, there are condoms made of natural lambskin. I've never used them, but then they are too expensive for me! I'll stick to whatever is within my price range and is safest at the same time ... Maybe someone should do a comparison study for Consumer Reports.
Enemas: You have, of course, cleaned out your partner's asshole before you've started fucking him, rubber or no. Yeah, I know, medical opinion is opposed; but I'd rather eat plain yogurt to put back the friendly bacteria that enemas strip away than have to deal with scat, mine or anybody else's (more about that later). Do it thoroughly, do it early enough so you can rest awhile, but do it.
If you're into it as a sex thing, there are some more things you should know. You weren't gonna drink out of his ass, were you? There have been a couple of irresponsible fuck videos of just that recently. Contrary to popular opinion, Gay porn stars do NOT lead charmed lives. They get AIDS and die just like the rest of us. If you do a mutual or tradeoff scene, don't get any of the stuff on each other, don't share the equipment, and clean and sterilize the tub, shower, or whatever, as well as the nozzles when you're finished!
Watersports: Make sure you have no cuts, scrapes, sores, open wounds, etc., and for God's sake, DON'T SWALLOW IT!!!!! Scrub yourselves off with Betadine soap after you finish. Your own urine is still sterile to yourself (a bottom/slave can still be made to drink his own piss), but NOT to others! So don't take a chance; if you want your slave to drink piss, make him drink his own!
Catheters: This falls into the category of "Ignorance Out"; i.e., if you don't know what you're doing, don't do it!! The whole procedure MUST be sterile: the Top's hands, the bottom's cock, the catheter itself, the lubricant, EVERYTHING!!! Don't do it if you're stoned/drunk, either! You can do serious damage to the urethra that way! Use K-Y for lubricant; DO NOT use spit!
Drugs: If you have to do drugs to do it, you shouldn't be doing it! I'm talking only about the type of drug use that gives you permission to do something you wouldn't do if you weren't on drugs in the first place. A stoned bottom misses a lot of the fun; a loaded topman is a lethal weapon. Drugs fuck up your immune system. And let us be clear here: we are NOT discussing just illegal street drugs. Alcohol, tobacco and poppers are also a burden on an immune system already overloaded by urban pollution, pesticides, chemical additives, etc.; alcohol because it lowers your MENTAL resistance. Tobacco and poppers screw up your mucous membranes, leaving them susceptible to respiratory infections. Who wants to kiss an ashtray? Poppers ... well, I guess that some people can't conceive of NOT using them to enhance sex. On the other hand, I know lots of men who don't feel they need them. I'll use them, but not very often, because I DON'T need them. I feel that if anyone needs poppers to do anything, they are doing something they don't really want to do.
Street drugs: I'm not going to give you any legalistic or moralistic shit about not using drugs. You already know all that and you either believe it or you don't and I'm not going to change your mind. What I AM going to do is remind you that they lower your immunity to disease, not to mention suppliers stepping on the stuff. Those fuckers will cut the drugs with anything from powdered sugar (if you're lucky) to roach powder. Even if you manage to get your hands on some dynamite drugs, speed and coke in particular wreak havoc with your resistance and general health, not to mention encouraging you to forget about that silly little rubber in your pocket or fuck kit. That's not even taking into consideration that most people can't cum or even get a hard-on on crystal. As for shooting up, as it used to be called, sharing needles WILL kill you.
Piercing: Personally, I feel that this should only be done by a Master to his slave, but that is NOT safe unless the Master does this professionally, either as a jeweller or as a doctor. If he isn't, then go to a professional! AIDS aside, it's much safer!
Fistfucking: I know, I know, doctors aren't going to agree that this is safe under ANY circumstances. This is a subject that you'll have to make up your own mind about, though. I'm not saying it's safe, but it can be done RELATIVELY safely as far as both the bottom's asshole and the AIDS epidemic are concerned. First things first: Clean his ass out up to the NECK with enemas. Don't use soap or water that's too hot; just take it easy and get the water high inside and as much as you can get in him. Some guys have a rule about passing clear water three times before the bottom is ready. Sounds good to me! The point is to stay out of scat here. After he's cleaned out, let him relax for a while and recover; enemas take a lot out of a guy, pun aside. Both of you will enjoy it more that way.
NO BARE-HANDED FISTING!!!!! Wear surgical gloves or don't do it at all! Remember what I said before about rimming? Well, the same goes for fisting! The blood vessels are close to the surface around your fingernails; that makes it easier for the little beasties to get in and like shaving, it is possible to have nicks, cuts and scratches that are too small for you to see. So use the damned gloves and CLIP AND FILE YOU NAILS! You don't want to pierce his colon and not be able to fist him ever again, do you? Not to mention puncturing the gloves and what THAT can do to you! I know gloves will reduce your sensitivity, but would you rather have the reduced sensitivity for the session or for eternity? Just be extra careful about what you do inside your bottom's bottom.
If you're not using disposable gloves (which are the most recommended), wash them with hot, soapy water, followed by a rinse in a ten-to-one mixture of water and bleach, followed by a Betadine rinse. Then let them air-dry for at least 24 hours. If you ARE using disposables, DON'T try to clean them; throw them away!!! If you like to go for depth, don't use the wrist-length gloves you can get at any drug store; you'll only lose them inside the guy and that defeats the whole purpose of using them. Get the elbow-length gloves (if you can find them) or the shoulder-length vet's gloves (available at J.B.'s Supply, PO Box 85667, Los Angeles, CA 90072-0667. It's a gay business, so you don't need to be paranoid about writing.) and unroll them as far as you need to. If you're gonna get into fisting action, you probably want to do it with this guy again, so don't take the chance on not being able to!
Clean up afterwards, using either paper towels or clean cloth towels that you can wash. If you use cloth, put them into a plastic bag and wash them in hot water (as hot as your water heater can get) with at least two cups of bleach for the standard washer. Use more or less, for smaller or larger loads. It may be hard on the towels, but not as hard as it could be using contaminated towels on other things. Be sure to do the same for everything else you or the lubricant has touched once you've made insertion.
Also, be sure to cover the chains of your sling with plastic tubing and always wipe them down with bleach and/or betadine after a scene. If there's an ass pillow, bag it in plastic before every scene and throw the bag away immediately after the scene is over. You cannot sterilize leather, so don't take the chance!
Scat: FORGET ABOUT IT!! This has nothing to do with my personal feelings on the subject; it has to do with SAFETY! Except for solo scenes, don't do it! Guess what you can get from another guy's shit??? Of course, there are other reasons not to do scat, but you either will or you won't anyway. Just remember: AIDS virus can be easily transferred in a scat scene.
If you don't like this person you don't even know giving you advice on how to run your sex life, just remember what AIDS will do to you if you don't practice safe sex! Ask any PWA his opinion on the subject! Even if you've never practiced safe sex, starting to do so now will reduce your chances of contracting this awful disease by starting.
If you find out that the man you're cruising has never practiced safe sex, go on to somebody else. The other guy may not be as hot, but he's probably safer! And don't be misled by the notion that your antibody test came out negative and so did his; it only means you haven't got the antibody and says NOTHING about the virus itself!
I have heard that fat people are "in", because they're obviously healthy. BULLSHIT!!!!! As a somewhat overweight person myself, I would LIKE that to be true, but it just isn't! ANYBODY can have the virus, no matter what they look like! So don't take the chance; play safely!
If you see someone wearing a safety pin on his lapel in a bar, it means he practices safe sex. There is also a button that means safe sex: a small black disk with a yellow diagonal displaying a stylized "S" on it. That one isn't in general use, but it does exist. Pay attention to it if you see it; the guy is SAFE!
Remember, safe sex is not an option, it's a necessity if you want to stay alive!