Some Queens

Excerpted from Eighty-Sixed by David Feinberg

Drag queens, size queens, shrimp queens (toe-sucking), rice queens (Orientals), potato queens (Occidentals), Fire Island queens, circuit queens (Fire Island/gym/disco curcuit), cha-cha queens (Latinos), rice-and-bean queens (Mexicans), Queens for a Day (Married men from New Jersey who go to the baths), face-sitting queens, fist queens, dish queens, Astoria queens, dinge queens, beanie-boy queens (Orthodox Jews), salami queens (Italians), salami-casing queens (uncut Italians), leather queens, opera queens, tearoom queens, smoke queens, popper queens, enema queens, personals queens ("like long walks on beaches"), glory-hole queens, tattoo queens, butt-hole queens, Studio queens (Studio 54--similatly, disco dollies), snow queens (cocaine, or blacks who like whites), fag-hag queens, hyphenate queens (actor-model-dancer-waiters), stress queens, roller-derby queens (wheelchairs etc.), alfalfa queens (macrobiotic), diesel queens (men who dress up like dykes), chicken queens, diva queens, screen queens, seafood queens (sailors), souvlaki queens (Greek action), crepe-suzette queens (French action), Perils-of-Pauline queens (thrill-seekers), blue-jean queens (Calvin Klien, Gloria Vanderbuilt), teddy-bear queens, cherry queens (deflowering virgins), Crisco queens, smut queens, ice queens (diamond-stud earings), anana queens (curved dicks), Jimmy Dean queens (Levi's, Elizabeth Taylor, and rebels without a cause), Lean Cuisine queens (perpetual dieters), mean queens (S&M), twisted queens (deranged), pee queens (water sports), teen queens, unweaned queens (sucking on tits--also known as Dairy Queens), magazine queens (addicted to glossies and press releases), railroad queens, locker-room queens, Mile High Club queens (making it in an airplane johns), rubber queens, dildo queens, beet queens (Future Farmers of America back in high school--see also "yam queens"), dream queens (GQ types), scream queens ("Faaabulous!!!!"), Palace queens (Leona Helmsley), tuna queens (male lesbians), pesto queens (into garlic), egg-cream queens, fashion-victim/style-police queens (beyond therapy), hostage queens (fantasies of being taken hostage in a foreign American embassy and being brutalized by idealistic young university-student revolutionaried), vanilla queens (into vanilla sex: basic sucking and fucking, no fantasies allowed), matzo-meal queens (Reform Jews), Wuthering Heights queens (hopeless romatics), skin queens (uncircumcised), peeled queens (cut), designer queens, steroid queens, beach queens, smack queens, Ma Bell queens (phone sex), Tom Thumb queens (small dicks), uniform queens, piano-bar queens, salad queens (rimming), bottle queens (alcoholics), flea queens (sex in run-down motels), bullhorn queens (politicos), flab queens (a.k.a. chubby-chasers), evil queens (approximately ninety percent of the above), therapy queens (electroshock queens, Bellevue queens, couch queens, Valium queens, etc.), condo and co-op queens (the landed gentry in Manhattan), and closet queens.

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